Thoughts About Leaving

These days are gloomy, cloudy, rainy and chilly. It’s spring here in Michigan, but it doesn’t feel like it.

As our time here draws to a close, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much I’m going to miss living in this house, with this family.

Sometimes I still feel that powerful urge to have my own space — to choose my furniture, my dishes, to be alone with my husband. But I know there’s time for all of that. We have our whole lives ahead of us, right?

Today I spent the morning making muffins and talking with my mama-in-law about Lost in Translation. She watched it the night before and loved it. Our favorite parts are the same parts. The nephews are coming over in about an hour, so we’ll have a lively full house for lunch. We’ll all sit around the table with practically everything from the refrigerator and pantry out in front of us, each creating our own lunch concoction.

Maybe we’ll take Penelope for a walk afterwards, if this rain ever stops.

The point is, I’m looking forward what we have ahead of us.

We leave for a California visit tonight, where we’ll be able to explore for a few days to see what area of Berkeley/Oakland feels like home to us. Mark will be meeting with some faculty and getting a tour of the Berkeley campus.

It’s all very exciting.

But I still like to look back at what we’re leaving behind. I’m going to make sure to appreciate these few moments we have left together with these guys. These kids that I won’t get to see growing up before my eyes, but mostly through pictures on Facebook. Our friends who are more like family to us, our family who are some of our best friends.

These are the people I’m going to miss having in my life everyday.

Hopefully we’ll be able to find an apartment with enough extra room for at least a blow-up mattress so we can always have a revolving door of visitors.

We’ll need some help exploring the city, after all.